SlapMac Go
Slap your iPhone. It screams back.
Same energy, pocket-sized.
iOS 17.0+
Your phone has feelings now
SlapMac Go detects physical impacts on your iPhone using the built-in accelerometer and plays audio responses. Slap it and it screams back, volume proportional to your force.
Slide, don't slap
NewTwo modes that never ask you to hit anything. Rest a finger on the Camera Control button, the flat one on the right edge, and slide. The app reads how fast your finger moves and drives the sound from that. Press all the way in for the payoff.
Tickle
It giggles. Faster finger, harder laugh.
Cartoon phones squirm across the screen while it laughs, and they react to your speed, not your position. Slow strokes get a snicker. Fast ones get wheezing, and a couple of voices asking you to stop it.
Zip
A real zipper, scrubbed by your finger.
The teeth track exactly where your finger is, so it opens and shuts as slowly or as violently as you drag it. The sound stops the instant you do. Press all the way in and it rips.
Needs the Camera Control button, so iPhone 16 or later. Slide Sensitivity in Options sets how much finger it takes to hit full intensity.
iOS only hands that button to an app while the camera is on, so you'll see the green dot. Frames are thrown away the moment the hardware makes them. Nothing is captured, saved, or sent.
Nine moods of protest
150+ sound clips across 9 voice packs. Same roster as the Mac version. Your coworkers won't know what hit them.
👊 Combo Hit
Fighting game combos. Chain slaps for ULTRA COMBO! K.O.!
Record your own
None of the nine packs nasty enough? Make your own. Tap an empty slot, hold the phone to your face, and let it rip. Your voice, your dog, your boss mid-meltdown, that one cursed sound effect. They become a Custom Sounds pack you can slap to like any other. Nothing leaves your phone, so go ahead, get weird.
Combo system
Chain slaps within 2 seconds and climb 8 combo tiers. Screen flash intensifies, text grows, your phone shakes, all the way to GODLIKE!
Everything it does
Volume scales with force
Gentle tap? Whisper. Full slap? Full volume.
Adjustable sensitivity
From "earthquake detector" to "needs a running start".
Cooldown timer
Prevents meltdowns during rapid slaps.
Haptic feedback
Your phone vibrates on impact. It felt that.
Screen flash
Combo Hit pack lights up your screen on impact.
Slap counter
Tracks session + lifetime slaps. Chase that high score.
Dynamic Island
Shows slap count in the notch. Keeps running in background.
Onboarding
Detects your accelerometer, then walks you into chaos.
Pro features
Unlock the full experience with a one-time purchase.
- ✓All voice packs: unlock every soundpack beyond the base set
- ✓Custom sound packs: record your own clips and slap to them
- ✓Dynamic Volume: volume responds to impact force
- ✓Dynamic Island: slap count in the notch, background audio
Zero data collection
No analytics. No tracking. No network requests. All accelerometer data is processed entirely on your device via CoreMotion. Your slaps are between you and your phone.
Same overengineered detection, mobile edition
Five concurrent signal processing algorithms vote on whether you actually slapped your phone. CoreMotion accelerometer at 100Hz, 8x faster than the Mac version.
High-Pass Filter
Strips out gravity so we only see impacts
STA/LTA Ratio
Compares short-term vs long-term averages at 3 timescales
CUSUM
Detects sudden shifts in acceleration
Kurtosis
4th statistical moment, finds sharp spikes
Peak/MAD
Median Absolute Deviation outlier detection
Architecture
Native Swift app. Accelerometer via CoreMotion at 100Hz (replaces macOS IOKit HID). @Observable for state management.
SwiftUI App
└─ SlapController (@Observable)
├─ AccelerometerReader ← CoreMotion, 100Hz
├─ SlapDetector ← 5 algorithms vote
├─ AudioPlayer ← AVFoundation
├─ HapticEngine ← CoreHaptics
├─ LiveActivityManager ← Dynamic Island
└─ SettingsStore ← UserDefaults👋 $2.99. Less than a coffee. More fun than your therapist.
Requires iOS 17.0+ and a willingness to hit expensive things.